SEX BOYCOTT PROMPTS LAWSUIT

Of all the news stories I've read today, one stands out in particular.  A Kenyan man has sued activists who called upon women to boycott sex for seven days as a way to protest increasingly strained  relations between President Mwai Kibaki and Prime Minister Raila Odinga.  The rationale is that the inconvenience might encourage men to think more about resolving the political issues.

One Kenyan, James Kimondo, claims in his lawsuit that the week long sex ban caused "stress, mental anguish, backaches and lack of sleep."  Kimondo is seeking undisclosed damages.

Ann Njogu, executive director of Centers for Rights Education and Awareness, claims she's not concerned about the pending legal action.  "It will be interesting to see the face of a man who is not willing to abstain for the sake of his country," she says.

I think Ann Njogu was being extremely diplomatic with her response.  If I were Ann Njogu, my response would have been more along the lines of, "OH BOO HOO, YOU BIG FREAKING BABY!  GET YOUR BRAIN OUT OF YOUR ZIPPER AND THINK ABOUT SOMETHING OTHER THAN YOURSELF FOR ONCE!  IT WON'T HURT YOU TO SHAKE HANDS WITH THE UNEMPLOYED FOR A WEEK, FOR GOD'S SAKE!"

That, of course, is the difference between Ann Njogu and me.  I could go on, but I think the news item speaks for itself.  I will offer this, however:  A clever lady once observed that sex rules the world, and that women rule sex. 

Wow. 

PUT A STAMP ON IT

The US Postal Service has raised its prices again, which is not cool.  It has also unveiled its latest first class stamps, featuring The Simpsons.  Which is really, really cool.  Check these babies out:

Now, I know not everyone loves The Simpsons, and I can live with that.  But Homer and I, we go way back.  We're besties.  Despite a childhood dotted with the likes of Ward Cleaver, Andy Taylor, and Jim Anderson, I'd rank Homer Simpson as one of the most brilliant TV dads in history.

So I'll shell out 44 cents apiece for the new Simpsons stamps, and I think I'll use them to mail my son's graduation announcements this week.  That ought to bring the "sweet" to an occasion that's bitter, too.

STALKED BY THE ATLANTA VAGINAL REJUVENATION AND COSMETIC SURGERY CENTER

As I scanned the news on CNN.com the other day, I noticed an ad for a place called The Atlanta Vaginal Rejuvenation and Cosmetic Surgery Center.  I smirked a bit (as any mature woman or 13-year-old boy would do), and went back to reading my news item.  Later that day I logged on to MySpace and there it was again, just blinking out at me from my monitor:  The Atlanta Vaginal Rejuvenation and Cosmetic Surgery Center.  Now I was starting to feel a bit uncomfortable.  When the same ad followed me to a third site, I began to wonder if someone at The Atlanta Vaginal Rejuvenation and Cosmetic Surgery Center was seriously creeping on me. . .or even worse, trying to tell me something.  But my curiosity got the better of me, and I checked out the website to see what services were offered by the center. 

My eyes are still burning.

I won't be specific about what happens behind closed doors at The Atlanta Vaginal Rejuvenation and Cosmetic Surgery Center, but the services seem to fall under two umbrellas:  surgeries that might conceivably construed as medically advisable, and surgeries that are intended to correct what is assumed to be sloppy work by Mother Nature. 

Now I'm not one to judge others, and if some of my sister friends feel the need to surgically achieve a more. . .ideal look. . . that's certainly their business.  But I am simply amazed at how far women feel they need to go to make themselves more attractive to men.  First boob jobs as a birthday present, now this?

I, for one, will be forgoing anything offered by The Atlanta Vaginal Rejuvenation and Cosmetic Surgery Center--at least until its partner facility opens.  I propose something like The Memphis Penile Rejuvenation Center and Wing Shack.  It should advertise heavily on ESPN.com., don't you think?